


Hold My Hand Before You Drown

by hyxcinthus



Category: The Penumbra Podcast
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, I'm really bad a tagging apparently, Other, Peter Nureyev has ADHD, cw: description of sensory overload, juno steel also has ADHD, juno steel: lady detective, no beta we die like Benzaiten
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-09
Updated: 2020-12-09
Packaged: 2021-03-10 06:35:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,687
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27979704
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hyxcinthus/pseuds/hyxcinthus
Summary: “Pete, darling. Are you quite alright?” Buddy asked.Peter put on his most convincing smile. “Certainly, Captain. I am, as they say, right as rain.”“Well, I won’t keep you for much longer.”-or: Peter Nureyev gets a bad case of sensory overload
Relationships: Peter Nureyev/Juno Steel
Comments: 6
Kudos: 138





	Hold My Hand Before You Drown

It was a particularly bad day for Peter Nureyev. It all started when he woke up, the heat of all those blankets on top of him making him feel trapped. Juno clung to him tightly. Usually, his was a welcome weight on Peter’s chest, but that day it was just too much. As carefully as he could, he extricated himself from Juno’s grasp and got out of bed; the cool air on his skin calmed him down a little. 

Until he saw his room. 

It was a mess, as it normally was, but he couldn’t stand to look at it. He _needed_ to clean, however there was so much to do that he didn’t know where to start. Instead, he sat down in the middle of his room and pushed the palms of his hands into his eyes. 

“Nureyev?” Juno’s voice croaked from the bed. 

Peter took a deep breath. “Over here, darling.” 

He heard the shuffling of blankets, then the patter of feet on the only clear section of the floor. Juno sat next to him and asked what was wrong. After Peter insisted he was fine and Juno insisting that he wasn’t, Peter finally caved. 

“I… I thought I would clean my room,” he said simply. “It is a bit overwhelming, is all.” 

“Oh. Well, I can help with that. Rita made me watch this documentary on organization once. Okay, so we can start with—” 

Juno’s rambling helped a bit. They worked in sections, taking everything bit by bit. It was easier for Peter to do everything with someone else giving specific instructions. One thing at a time. He just needed to do one thing at a time. 

Then, Juno’s comms beeped. Buddy was calling a family minute in five minutes and they hadn’t even eaten breakfast. As much as he didn’t want to leave his room in that state, and as much as he didn’t want to face anyone except Juno, he stood up. 

“How about we get some food before the meeting, hm?” 

The meeting didn’t go so smoothly. At least, for Peter it didn’t. No one else seemed to have a problem, but Vespa snapping at Juno, Rita tapping her foot rapidly against the hard floors, grated like sandpaper against his ears.

“Pete, darling. Are you quite alright?” Buddy asked. 

Peter put on his most convincing smile. “Certainly, Captain. I am, as they say, right as rain.” 

“Well, I won’t keep you for much longer.” 

And she didn’t. She wrapped up the meeting and dismissed her crew. Peter couldn’t even think about going back to his room. Even with Juno’s system, all his motivation had drained away. He was grateful when Rita invited everyone to watch a stream with her. He was even more grateful to see that it wasn’t one of her action streams. There was no shouting, no loud noises, nothing that could trigger his sensory overload. 

It was fine for a while. That is, until Buddy called Jet out of the room to discuss something. Their muffled voices made his chest feel tight at first. He tried to ignore it, to focus on the stream instead, but the more he tried, the more he heard their mumbling instead the noise coming out of the speakers. Peter clenched his hands into a fist and tried to breathe. He did his best to sit still. 

“Honey?” Juno whispered. “You alright?” 

People kept asking him that. He hated being asked that. Peter Ransom wasn’t someone people needed to be worried about. He was there for one thing, and one thing only: the job. However, Peter Nureyev was there for much more. Along with that came all his struggles. 

Peter Ransom didn’t struggle like he did. Peter Ransom could sit in a room with his crew and not feel like clawing at his skin when there were too many external stimuli. Peter Nureyev however… 

He didn’t want to think about it. 

“I am… I am fine, Juno. I’m just a little tired.” 

“Yeah, well, you woke up pretty early today.” 

“Yes. That must be it. I think I will take a nap, hm?”

“Want me to come with you?”

Juno watched him carefully, poorly concealing the worry on his face. “That’s alright, dear. You stay and finish your stream with Rita.” 

Peter had forgotten about the mess in his room until it was staring him right in the face. There was no chance he would manage to fall asleep there. Not now, at least. Most days, he was fine, didn’t even register it. That day, however, was not like most days. Nothing was in its place and he needed things to be in their place. 

To his surprise and embarrassment, Peter found that a tear was tracking its way down his face. He sat down, his back against the wall, in one of the spots he and Juno had cleared earlier. Head in his hands, he tried to breathe. If he was doing one thing at a time, the first thing he had to do was breathe.

He didn’t know how long he’d sat there. At some point, he heard vaguely in his mind that he could go to Juno’s room. Peter knew the lady liked to keep it clean. Half in his body, he trudged himself down the hall and opened the door to Juno’s room. It was empty. He must have still been watching Rita’s stream. It didn’t matter. Peter had had a long day, and he was exhausted. 

He didn’t remember falling asleep, but he did remember waking up to fingers gently carding through his hair. As he opened his eyes, he saw Juno sitting in bed next to him, reading through something on a tablet. 

Juno smiled down at him when he felt him stir. “Morning.” 

Peter rubbed the sleep out of his eyes as he sat up. He felt a lot better than he had earlier. Naps really did work wonders. “What time is it?” he asked, his voice still hoarse. 

“A little past dinner.” 

“What?” There was no way he had been out for that long. “I missed lunch?” 

“And dinner,” Juno added in that joking tone that he thought was so charming. “Now, are you ready to tell me what’s wrong?” 

Peter sighed dramatically. “Alright, Juno, dear. If you insist.” He could be serious at any other time. During a job, when others were talking about _their_ problems, but when it came to talking about his own? He didn’t even know where to begin. He sighed again, a genuine one this time. “Today has been… particularly hard for me. I…” Peter clicked his tongue in frustration. Any way he tried to phrase it in his head sounded silly. 

Juno held out his hand. Peter took it. “It’s okay. I promise I’m not gonna, like, judge you or anything.” 

“I know you won’t.” As he said it, he knew it was true. “Sometimes, I get overwhelmed. Too much sensory input can make me feel… not the best. Simple things can...” he trailed off, not knowing how to articulate what he was feeling. 

“Like what?” Juno asked. “Just so I know what to avoid in the future.” 

“Well, it isn’t all the time, you understand.” 

“Right, but when you _are_ having a bad day, I’ll know what things to not do.” 

“Juno, I can’t ask you to—” 

“Nureyev,” Juno stopped him. “You’re not asking me anything. I want to do this.” He seemed so genuine, so sincere. It stunned Peter for a moment, words getting stuck in his throat. Juno was patient in a way that Peter had never seen from him before. He waited, watching him with no expectations in his eye. 

“Well… some things are quite hard to predict. I’d say hearing people talk in other rooms is the biggest one, though I can just go to the opposite end of the _Carte Blanche_ for that. Certain textures, certain sounds.” 

“Sounds?” 

“It isn’t always the same. Sometimes it’s a laugh at just the wrong octave or tapping on the wrong surface.” 

Juno nodded, listening intently. 

“And then there’s—” 

“Mess,” Juno finished. “That’s, like, visually a lot, I’m guessing.” 

“Y- yes. How did you—?” 

Juno smirked. “Just a good detective.” 

“Juno.” 

“What? I’m being serious. You started cleaning your room at an ungodly hour when it hasn’t bothered you before. Then, when you needed to nap, you came to my room instead of your own. I’d say that counts as detective work.” 

Peter chuckled softly. “Whatever you say, dear.” 

Juno grinned. “Well, we can sleep here until you’re up to cleaning again. I’ll help you when you are, obviously. For now, though, I think we should get some food in you.” 

“I… Yes. That sounds nice, Juno.” 

Juno nodded, a small smile on his face. “And you don’t have to feel bad about telling me this stuff, Nureyev. I know what sensory overload is, even experience it occasionally. Not in the same way you do, but…” He took a breath. “Even if I didn’t, it’s not something to be ashamed of or anything.” 

Peter didn’t know what to say. No one had ever reacted that way before. Most people didn’t even know. It wasn’t something he liked to talk about. It made him feel weak, small. A tiny thought popped up in the back of his head when he first started talking, afraid Juno would make him feel like that, but he didn’t. He didn’t make him feel like he was two centimeters tall. 

He made him… Well, he made him feel less ashamed. 

Peter returned Juno’s smile. “Thank you.” 

Juno leaned over and kissed him softly. “You don’t need to thank me,” he said after he pulled away. He stood with a groan, straightening out his clothes, before holding out his hand. “You coming?” 

Peter stared at Juno’s hand. He was holding it just moments ago, and there it was again, offered up for him to take. He realized, then, that Juno would give it to him as many times as he needed. Just like he’d give Juno his. 

Peter reached out, and took his hand. 


End file.
